Untitled Skateboards
The past several Thrasher magazines I’ve picked up all contained an interesting advertisement for Untitled Skateboards, a Christian skateboarding company. What faith has to do with skateboarding is beyond me, and I’m very disappointed in Thrasher for running advertising for such a lame-ass company (it looks especially out of place when the average ad that runs in Thrasher is more the naked-girl-on-a-bed-of-weed-wearing-nothing-but-the-latest-pro-skate-
shoes-and-a-board-covering-her-tits type of ad), but the real funny thing is their slogan:
“We are not religious… We are followers of Jesus Christ”
Brilliant, guys…a marketing campaign based on denial. Here’s a couple more ideas:
“We are not skateboarders… We ride skateboards”
“We are not political… We vote Republican”
“We are not a thinly-veiled attempt at making Jesus look cool in the eyes of agnostic teens by associating his name with an “edgy” sport, and making a little money on the side while we’re at it… We are a Christian skateboarding company”
Definitely read the “about” page for a laugh. You know what appeals to the skateboarding culture? “Over 15 years of combined ministry experience.” That should sell some skateboards. Good luck, guys.
16 Responses to “Untitled Skateboards”
When did punk rock become so safe?
When did the scene become a joke?
The kids who used to live for beer and speed
now want their fries and coke
Cursing and flipping birds are not allowed,
in fact let’s keep noise levels down
Must separate the church and skate!
-NOFX
Isn’t it illegal to make that cherry popping first comment on your own blog? Untitled Skateboards couldn’t have picked a better name for their product. Think about it, what do most kids name their history essay they write at 4 in the morning out of their minds on hallucinogens? UNTITLED. Makes sense…jesus is the gateway drug to dropping ludes at fatboy’s house trying to score on a lonely Tuesday night.
Oh, and the complement to your NOFX lyrics, I feel obliged…
“”When did punk rock become so safe?”
You’ll excuse me if I laugh in your face
as I itemize your receipts
and PowerPoint your balance sheets.
I hear this year’s Vans Warped Tour is “going green!”
I guess they heard that money grows on trees.
Hope they ship all those shitty bands overseas
like they did the factories.”
God bless Propogandhi.
That’s the second time you’ve quoted that on Bill’s blog, not that I object at all, just wanted you to know that I care and I’m paying attention.
I’m glad, that makes me feel something deep down inside. And I feel so ridiculous, because I spelled it wrong. But I think Chris Hanna will forgive my sins.
Hooray for NoFX, and happy 500th blog entry. You geek.
Who’s geekier, Bill for the blog post, or Caleb for keeping track of them?
If you look in the right collumn next to “All” it says the total number of posts. It’s not like I count new posts daily.
Bi-daily is far more accurate.
It says 302? Am I missing something?
I’m also confused because I added each individual category up and the total is NOT 302, its 326. If I add up each number in the archives, however, it totals 302. When I’m bored sometime, I’ll see where the blog fetches those numbers and figure out where the error is.
I’ve also noticed my search function is fucked and the blog loses its formatting when search results are retrieved. Rad.
Still no excuse for why Caleb thought it was fucking 500, that’s complete and total bullshit. Fuck.
Oh and you spelled Chris Hannah’s name wrong Shawn. You fuck.
Oh, Jesus, I didn’t even realize I had said 500, I meant 300. That was just a typo. I’m an idiot.
And for this, I shall be struck down in a glorious hail of rock and roll.
Well i think is real and u should check em out cuz he will change ur life forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
God Bless,
Sk8er of Christ 4 ever
oh and by the way stop using the f-bomb
God bless,
Sk8er of Christ 4 ever
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