I’d really like to be able to tell you how Synergy: Organic & Raw tastes, but I just can’t bring myself to actually taste it. No joke. Yesterday a friend handed me a bottle out of his refrigerator and said “Review this.” I opened the bottle, brought it to my face, and the SMELL, Jesus [...]

Though she doesn’t fully understand it, Amanda is accepting of my fascination with horrible energy drinks and picks up off-brands for me whenever she comes across them. Today she brought me two flavors of Stinger, a drink manufactured by Stacker2. The flavors she picked out were Sinful Citrus and Enraged Raspberry. Stinger calls itself “Extreme [...]

Here are the top four 2008 presidential candidates based on number of MySpace friends. Barack Obama – 99095 Hillary Clinton – 49329 John Edwards – 39582 John McCain – 35906 Interestingly, Rudy Giuliani’s MySpace profile is set to private, which is getting a lot of attention online. Maybe he has embarrassing party photos up.

Just received this mail a couple minutes ago. I’m at work, and I can’t stop laughing to myself. Dear Bill, My name is Deborah Goldberg and I work at TopSpin Creative, a Japanese television production company based in New York. Currently, we are working on a weekly program called ‘Unbelievable’ for Fuji Television, one of [...]

So my mom just called me to tell me she had won a Mercedes at the casino, and accepted a cash buyout for just under a boatload of money. She left me a voicemail offering to fly my on-again off-again girlfriend and I out so I could set up their home network. Not kidding you. [...]

I read that Rockstar (the energy drink) was created by Russel Weiner. That meant nothing to me until I learned that Russel Weiner is the son of Michael Weiner. That also meant nothing to me until I learned that Michael Weiner is the real name of Michael Savage, the famous conservative talk-radio doofus. Because of [...]

I picked up a 16oz. can of Rush! Energy Lite on clearance for $1.50. It’s not as horrible as most energy drinks, but that’s because it’s barely an energy drink. The front of the can clearly states “No Sugar, Carbohydrates, Calories”, which piqued my interest because as far as I know, that’s just about everything [...]

Several months ago, a friend and I “scammed” Coast to Coast AM by wowing the webmasters with a ghost photo we spent about 30 seconds making in Photoshop. I received a small burst of email about the picture (plus a lifetime’s worth of spam…why the hell did I use my real email?), then it died [...]

EDIT: I decided he was so bitchin’ I had to make wallpapers. Download: 1280×1024 Download: 1280×1024