Correction: The Cancer That’s Killing Skateboarding
So it’s come to my attention that an old post of mine has been linked to from a post in a longboarding forum, inciting a wave of longboarders to come bitch on my blog about how much “stoke” I’m killing. Nevermind that my original post said nothing bad about longboards, just the recent increase of douchebag frat boys riding them. Maybe all these angry longboarders were confused that I called them “brethren” rather than “bros?”
Let me clarify. I bomb hills all the time; it’s therapeutic. Bombing hills never ever gets old. Especially since moving to Portland, my skateboard is also my primary mode of transportation. I go everywhere on it. But I also like…well, a good variety of tricks, which doesn’t really exist in longboarding. If ALL you’re going to do on a board is bomb hills then sure, buy a longboard. Go nuts. Bert slide your heart out. I’m just not going to invite you out the next time we hit the park, because I like to do things besides roll around on my board. That said, I would approach a random longboarder on the street to ask for directions, the nearest skatepark or the best local bar before I asked a total stranger because, well, clearly we already connect on some level.
Skateboarding has many different shades, not all of which I am “stoked” on. I never thought vert skating was entertaining to watch and Danny Way’s Megaramp was cool for about…a week and now I’m just over it. Similarly, longboarding just doesn’t maintain my interest. Like rollerblading, the “sport” is so inherently limited that after a certain point it cannot progress (and I apologize for comparing longboarding and rollerblading). There is no real “rivalry” between longboarders and skateboarders (street, whatever); they’re really two entirely different things. Sure, a 50-year-old Hell’s Angel and a motocross superstar both ride motorcycles, but do we just refer to them all as bikers? There’s clearly a difference in attitude and purpose there, which is also true with street skating and longboarding. What I was pointing out in my post is precisely this. There is a difference between somebody that has been longboarding (or skateboarding) for a while and really live and breathe it and what I referred to as “polo-shirted, cargo-shorted, Birkenstocked bastards” clumsily pushing around campus because their friends decided skateboarding was cool one day. There is a certain simple purity to skateboarding (or longboarding) and I despise signs like this that remind me of the popularization and commercialization of it. You know the feeling, like when your favorite band signs to a major label and you have to stop wearing their shirt because now a bunch of high school girls own the same one. The way I see it, the longboard community should be just as pissed off as I am about this “invasion.”
Basically, if you’re into longboarding hardcore enough that you actually go discuss it at a longboarding forum, I probably don’t have a problem with you. If you’re one of the aforementioned frat boys polluting the collective skateboarding culture by riding a longboard, then fuck off. Nobody’s impressed. Go do something you’re good at, like date rape.
12 Responses to “Correction: The Cancer That’s Killing Skateboarding”
I can see your point. It hasnt hit my hometown yet, but I dont think its far off. The one I get the most is just random wankers going “do a kickflip”. Mostly guys who look like they dont skate at all. Or Scooter kids.
Sayin shit in the street will generally lend itself pretty well to getting a punch in the mouth. People are dumb.
wow, i can so relate to everything you say here. thx
If you ride a skateboard in ANY capacity and don’t relate to that, then I nominate SKATEBOARDING for poser of the month, cuz it’s clearly all over.
Hey bro I totally agree, I have kinda gone backwards with my longboarding actually (getting a mini). Its just like Street though, posers dont do tricks…Poser longboarders puss out on hills.
There’s posers in every branch of skating. Well, except maybe pool. All those guys are fucking insane. If some gnarly 40 year old pool skater who’s been riding the same Powell skull deck for 20 years and lives entirely on whiskey and cheap beer wants to come here and tell me that I’m the cancer that’s killing skateboarding, he totally has the right to.
I completely agree with everything your’e saying. I just wanted to let you know there is more to longboarding than bombing hills and bert slides.
totally not bashing you here, so if it sounds like that dont take it that way. Have you ever tried longboarding? its really fun no matter what discipline you do. youtbue some longboarding vids on youtbue, it wont take you more then 2 seconds. you’ll find out that longboarding is more than just “rolling around”. Actually some longboards are considered pool boards and youve already mentioned your respect for them. I know your not bashing longboarding but when you type i can where people can take it the wrong way. Conclusion: its all skateboarding. Whether your just rolling around or doing christ air backflips off the mega ramp. If you have fun doing it, then why not do it?
p.s. longboarders also hate those frat boys. see? we have something in common.
Yeah man, which is what my original post was all about.
Just so long as there’s gnar to be thrashed we’ll ALL get along.
Hey i gotta say I’ve skated in some sense since 6, never good at street skating, actually….pretty horrible, but i love the act of riding a skateboard, so naturally i migrated to longboarding and hill riding (haha or carving in my case) but i gotta say that an elitist attitude about anything can only lead to hostility. You hate those kids for their nature, being assholes or what have you, so they picked up some boards… are you gonna view pepperoni as the cancer of pizza if they all start eating it tomorrow. Push comes to shove, no one likes feeling like something they love is being raped by outsiders, but to direct the anger against them on to something else is bogus. Nothing but respect for you, and hope to hear your situation changes…peace
Dude I don’t care what kind of board you ride you’re just not “gnar” till you can master the “hit the rock faceplant” which if you remember is “the coolest trick ever invented”, by me. And basically because it was the only one I ever mastered.
d00d, bros…lets all just bro out and drink some Natty and play game cube.
Leave a Reply