If you haven’t put it together yet, I’m a bit of an idiot. Not in all things, really — mostly just when it comes to not being an idiot. Case in point: Back on Halloween my GF sent me back home from the bar to fetch a camera. So I fetched a Cameron. Then we went to get a camera.

In the elevator door in our building, there’s a hole — its purpose a mystery — that’s just about the size of a key. So of course, being an idiot, I put my key in the door while we waited for the elevator we just called. As planned, the elevator arrived, the door opened, there was a horrible crunching noise and my keys vanished somewhere inside the wall. It was funny at first because somebody was in the elevator at the time, so all they heard was this grinding, followed by a THUMP, followed by the jingle of keys while the door opened, revealing two idiots staring at each other with their jaws dropped, before the door closed again in silence. Of course, that’s where the funny stopped because, not 20 minutes beforehand, I told my GF not to bring her keys to the bar because I had mine. We were locked out of the apartment.

So a couple hours, a 24-hour locksmith and a hundred dollars later, I was trying to explain to my special lady friend exactly why I decided to attach my keys to a door that I knew was going to retreat into a wall. Well, I didn’t really have a “why” so I mostly just explained how my keys got inside a wall. I think she was pretty proud of me.

Anyway, I guess the get-all-the-crap-that-residents-drop-in-the-elevator-shaft guy was around this morning, because she dropped them off today on her lunch break. Woohoo!

…the moral of the story being not to keep your bottle opener on something that can so easily get sucked into an elevator door.