Christian Skateboarding Fashion = GAME OVER SATAN!

by zhx

A friend sent me a pretty sweet link to some Christian clothing site. First of all, what the fuck does “Christian clothing” mean, anyway? I don’t see anything particularly Christian about any of the pictured outfits. In fact, in the “Main Christian Image Gallery,” I saw several photos of kids just standing in white t-shirts and jeans. What?

I’m just going to start a business and call it Christian. BAM! Built-in target market of 2 billion gullible people.

“So, tell me again what’s so special about your sandwich shop?”
“Oh, these are all Christian sandwiches.”
“What’s Christian about turkey and swiss?”
“Well, this is a Christian establishment.”
“I just don’t see what makes this Chr…”
“DO YOU WANT A CHRISTIAN SANDWICH OR NOT?!”

But again, the sweetest part about this is it combines the very worst of clueless suits trying to force cool onto something inherently uncool and young, misled Christians trying to make their inherently uncool batshit beliefs TOTALLY EXXXXTREEEEME!

Go ahead and browse around. The sheer variety of “Christian fashion” can be a little overwhelming. Look how punk these Christian punks are with their totally punk t-shirts and jeans! Or check how out the Emo Christians in their t-shirts and jeans tell the world “Hey, I’m Christian, I’m Emo, I wear t-shirts and jeans.”

And of course, be sure to read a little piece of history on the Skater Fashion page about how 3 young Christians invented skateboarding so they could get to church more quickly. Christians distorting history and just plain making shit up? Now I’ve heard everything.